It would be blatantly obvious, to anyone who knows me, that I’ve never had a Latin lesson in my life. With lots of subjects I, like many others, Google what I need to know at any given point, which can lead to contextual difficulties and the danger of outright misinformation (it seems that anyone with a vague knowledge of something, or lack thereof, can post whatever drivel that comes into their head). On top of that, it seems that Latin is a language with many variables, so when I looked up a simple phrase I was given a long list of options. Basically, the experts suggested I just pick the one I like. So I did.
Despite what Instagram (et al) portrays, sometimes life sucks. In the space of a month I was made redundant and was very ill with Covid (having avoided it for 20 months). Poor me, right? All that left me unable to function; unable to do the things I love doing (in spite of now having lots of time); unable to face everyday life. I found myself struggling with concepts like purpose, meaning, and identity (I’m an artist so it doesn’t take much to get me there anyway). It took another month to finally sit in front of my laptop (Hi) and at least try to produce something. On my Google Keep the first thing I noticed was “id est quod est”, which my past self had planted there for times like this – “it is what it is”.
I don’t believe in fate but sometimes the situation we find ourselves in is the reality we have to deal with. Unravelling the skein of a new mess can take a bit of time. It should take a bit of time. The process of change is painful and confusing. We have to reset.
The next realisation to hit me, as I mooch around my cluttered workspace (I really need to have a sort), was this – I have everything I need, and I know everything I need to know, to move forward; even if it’s one tiny step. I just need to do it.
Today, I just need to have the proverbial mustard seed. One tiny step, one tiny progression, and I won’t be where I was; I’ll be moving into my new reality.