Punk Prayers

Punk prayers is an attempt to write common prayers in a raw and real way. There is no swearing – swearing is to easy – but the language can be harsh and uncomfortable. I feel that my relationship with God, at its heart, is about the union of a perfect entity with a very broken one. Of course, however naïve they may be, even these words are refined and don’t reflect the groans, sighs and frustrated silences that often go with what passes for communion with God for me. If they’re not for you, I get that, but if you’re struggling with prayer as you know it, maybe there’s something here that can help. I hope so.

Praise

You are bigger than I am

You are bigger than my desires, my wants, my needs

You are bigger than my pride and my ego

You are bigger than my day, bigger than my dreams, bigger than my purposes

Wherever I turn you are there

Wherever I go you are there

You are in my past, my present, my future

You are in those I meet and in my very self

You are even where I dare not look

You are bigger than my idea of who you are, what you are, what you can do

You are bigger than my explanations, my rituals, my names for you

You are bigger than my senses, than my intuition, than my capability to understand

You are bigger than my knowledge

You are bigger than my imagination

You are bigger than all things and so much more.

You are bigger


Confession

Yes, it was me

I could make excuses but we both know the truth

What I hide from others is like hiding the brightest star for you

You see all

Yes, I’m here again

Same stuff

It must be tedious for you, we go through the same things ever time

You know all

I do mean it though

As I sit, here and now, I do mean it

I am sorry

I do want to put right what I can put right

I do want to do things differently next time

I do want to break the old patterns and triggers and habits

This is not bargaining process

Or a smooth side stepping

Or a meaningless ritual

I have done wrong

I have been selfish

I have hurt and neglected others

Please forgive me


Thankfulness

For breath and life and love

For the green and the blue

For the endless path and the now

For memories and dreams

For hope and joy

For those close and those closer

For the smile of a stranger

For a common path

For the most and the least

For the more and the less

For the day and the night

For the dark and the light

For the dapple and the babble

For the known and the unknown

For identity and reason and purpose

For forgiveness and peace

For the dance and the song

For the palette of life

For nourishment of all kinds

For the unexpected, gentle breeze

For the still small voice

I thank you God


Intervention

I come, reluctantly and not often enough

I put aside myself for a while

And I think of others and their needs

So many hurting, so many lost

So many hungry, so many homeless

So many depressed, so many in despair

So many in need

Be as close as breath to them

Hold them close

Whisper comfort to them

Ease their pain

As I break this pause

As I return to my life

Help me follow your lead

And not turn away.


Offering: One

As I look in the mirror, My God

I see the flaws and the scars and the weariness

I am not what I could be or even what I should be

I am what I am

If the mirror reflected more than skin deep

There would be darkness and disappointment and frustration

My better self would be wrestling with my vanity, my obsessions, my selfishness

But this is what I am, what I try to hide, what I try not to be

This is the raw me

Tentatively, I offer you this reality because I have nothing else

I offer no false promises of self-improvement or bragging self-delusion

I offer you only what is at this moment

Take this clay, this base metal, this raw pigment

Make what you will

I will try not to resist your will

I will try not to fight you

Make what you will


Offering: Two

I give you all I am, all I could be

All I will be, all I was

All my dreams and ambitions

All I remember, all I have forgotten

All I can do and all that I can’t

All that I value and I all I try not to hate

I give you all my frustrations, all of my fears

All I think I own

All of my grief, all my reluctance

All my darkness, all my pride

All my hurts and all I have hurt

All those I love and those I strive to love


Offering: Three

I have little to offer and less as the years go by

What was of value is now dust, what was permanent is ephemeral

What was important is of no consequence

You are so BIG and my offering so small

A dandelion for the Eternal Gardener

A scribble for the Painter of Galaxies

A pebble for the Sculptor of Worlds

But I will stand with broken pencil, with blotting ink, with balding brush

And scratch boldly of my love for you

Because in my heart, I know this

It will be enough


Communion

Grain and soil and water and sunlight

Reaping and refining and mixing and heat

Seed and soil and water and sunlight

Vine and harvest and treading and time

Thorn and whip and nail and darkness

Breath and tears and joy and light

Heart and mind and body and spirit

Gathered and forgiven and remembering and loved


Lament

I cannot lift my head or meet your eye

I no longer see colour or hear music or notice beauty

I am lost in myself

Everything is rubbish upon rubbish

Tears are long gone and now there is only void

Reach out your hand and lift my chin

Look into my eyes

Breath life into me once more.


A Prayer for the Morning

This is a new day, a fresh piece of paper not quite blank

There are many things carried over from yesterday

Things I should put right

Things I need to do

Better choices I need to make

Some days I see you clearly

And run towards your open arms

But on other days I can’t see you because my head is down

And, if I’m honest, I’m trying to avoid you

As if that were possible

Help me to raise my head this morning

Help me to begin this day well

Help me to be my better self

And to make the journeys of those I meet a little easier


A Prayer for the Evening

The day is done

The light is gone

The night reaches out to enfold the world

Today’s choices are made and never return

Only there consequences linger

I hope I did good today

I hope I eased someone’s day

I hope I brought light and colour and love and joy into the world

And where I didn’t, forgive me

As I sleep, watch over me and those I care for

As I wake, be my inspiration


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